i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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