I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
