Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
