Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
