I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
