Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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