Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I puked a lego.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
