So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
