In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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