Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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