I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
