You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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