Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
