you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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