i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
