she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
