just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
