Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
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I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
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Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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