That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
