Do you still have your period?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
