Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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