he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
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