; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Found the puke drawer
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
