I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
