Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
