I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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