i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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