Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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