doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
