you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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