and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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