I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
