so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize