Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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