Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
