ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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