i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
