I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
