So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
