I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
