Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
