He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
