sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize