the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize