Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Randomize
