There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
