you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
