Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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