Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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