where am i from again
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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