Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
