Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
