I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
