Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
