Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize