mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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