Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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