I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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