Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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